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Proper baby name etiquette!??


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#1 Karin Marie

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Posted 06 January 2009 - 01:53 PM

What is proper baby name etiquette? I'm curious because when it comes to my husband's family I guess they "claim" names like it's a ticket at a deli counter... :D is that fair? I don't think so! :D

For example my SIL Lindsey wants 6 kids and (for girls names) she can only pick names from the bible and the middle name is a virtue name so far she has a daughter Rachel Grace , if this one is a girl Rebecca Joy or Rebekah Joy? So I asked if she has another girl what would her middle name be & she said Faith because she doesn't like Hope (which I love!). My hubby loves Faith too what if we have a daughter & used Faith as her 1st name would that be ok knowing she will use it as a middle name?

Another example: We know that when my other SIL Louise has a daughter her name will be Emma Maree (like Marie but diff sp. it's Louise's middle name) but I found the name Emmeline (EM-a-leen) could we use that as a middle name when the time comes? Or no...

What about names we know a family member doesn't like but we love it? Is that ok to do? For example: My MIL doesn't like the name Serenity because of the old lady pads...but we loved it for Amerie but I didn't use it because of her (She has a way to sway ppl..) or Pearl I love the name Pearl but our Noni has an issue with a cousin Pearl but we love our Noni & all but I don't think it;s fair they can say oh Don't use that! Blah blah! :D They even tell us no matter they name they will love the baby anyways... [Isn't there always gonna be a name someone doesn't like/love?!]

Last question! Before our m/c & after I was looking up names & there meanings (I think I kinda knew my baby was gonna go to heaven) but I just happened to mention the name Vera-(it means Faith) to my MIL & she went through this big ordeal about Oh no! You can't use that name! Because a baby named Vera Ann died in a fire and it wouldn't be good...but I didn't know that but it sucks because even hubby loved it too could we still use it? It could be like a tribute to her & our baby in Heaven? Because our Hope in our Faith we got a gift from God again a baby girl named Vera?

Comments are appreciated! Any help would be great I know it's long but I need to know! Thanks in advance!

#2 lucy

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Posted 06 January 2009 - 02:43 PM

As far as claiming names, I think that you can't really claim them until you actually have a child with that name. Therefore, if you have another daughter before your sister in law uses the name Faith, you can certainly use it yourself. I'm not sure what I would say if your SIL already had a daughter called Faith, but I would say that until she does that name is available to anyone. I would advise you against using Rachel or Grace in either slot, but as Faith is as yet a purely hypothetical child, I wouldn't let it stop you.

I would never not use a name because my mother or my MIL or any other member of our family hated it because ultimately, it's not up to them. We learnt a long time ago that we just don't share our baby name choices with family or friends. I ask online but I don't talk to people in real life about it. I wouldn't use my MIL's hatred of a certain name as a reason not to use it.

I also wouldn't let that reason stop you from using the name Vera. It's lovely.

#3 Katie-Nana

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Posted 06 January 2009 - 03:17 PM

I've never really seen a problem with family members sharing names. In my family it is pretty common as long as no one goes by the same name then it shouldnt matter. For example me and my cousins and Aunts are named...

Lena Claire
Madeline Claire
Claire Nicole

Katherine Ann
Hannah Katherine

Jessica Elizabeth
Sara Elizabeth

#4 Karin Marie

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Posted 06 January 2009 - 05:27 PM

I've never really seen a problem with family members sharing names. In my family it is pretty common as long as no one goes by the same name then it shouldnt matter. For example me and my cousins and Aunts are named...

Lena Claire
Madeline Claire
Claire Nicole

Katherine Ann
Hannah Katherine

Jessica Elizabeth
Sara Elizabeth


Oh those are pretty names! I see ya, I don't see a problem with using the same middle name or w.e because you get called by your first name anyways! Thanks that helps! :D

#5 Karin Marie

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Posted 06 January 2009 - 05:37 PM

As far as claiming names, I think that you can't really claim them until you actually have a child with that name. Therefore, if you have another daughter before your sister in law uses the name Faith, you can certainly use it yourself. I'm not sure what I would say if your SIL already had a daughter called Faith, but I would say that until she does that name is available to anyone. I would advise you against using Rachel or Grace in either slot, but as Faith is as yet a purely hypothetical child, I wouldn't let it stop you.

I would never not use a name because my mother or my MIL or any other member of our family hated it because ultimately, it's not up to them. We learnt a long time ago that we just don't share our baby name choices with family or friends. I ask online but I don't talk to people in real life about it. I wouldn't use my MIL's hatred of a certain name as a reason not to use it.

I also wouldn't let that reason stop you from using the name Vera. It's lovely.


Oh no we don't want to use Rachel or Grace. Ya, she just said her middle name would be Faith if & when she has a 3rd girl. I didn't know if it would be ok to use it as a first name ya know? But we prolly won't just because we know it's "her's". Plus we like Hope for a first name!

Ya, that's my down fall...I think my MIL like does it on purpose and brings up names and then I get excited and stuff & start saying names & she states her lovely opinion on every single name! Irks my nerves! lol But I have to learn not to tell her...This time around before I m/c she kepted asking names but I wouldnt say & she did say she doesn't like Hope Smith because it's too plain jane-ish but I still love it! So, maybe the next time we fall pregnant I won't tell ANYONE! just hubby! We are keeping the next baby a surprise along with the name! It's hard tho she doubts me a lot and it hurts..like she says Oh you won't be able to keep the name a secret! You won't NOT find out the sex you can't do that you have to know! ... =( Isn't she suppose to be supportive?

Thanks! Yeah! I still love the name Vera it's beautiful & has a good meaning too! I care to much what ppl think and I need to stop & do what Dustin & I lovee! Thanks!

#6 Capriana

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Posted 07 January 2009 - 04:21 AM

I agree with the previous posts - No one can really "claim" a name until they have a child by that name. For as long as I can remember, I wanted to name my first son Aaron Benjamin (after a dr who saved my life - Benjamin Aaron). When I was a teenager, my oldest sister had a son and named him Benjamin Dallas. My other sister asked me if I was upset b/c she "stole" my name. I wasn't - she had a real baby to name and I was still years away from having children.

I also think it's fine to use the same names as long as everybody doesn't go by that name. In our case, I ended up having a son 18 years later. My dh didn't like the name Aaron so we chose Garen Benjamin. They go by Ben and Garen so there is no confusion. (Although my nephew Ben thinks that his cousin is named after him - LOL!!)

Ya, that's my down fall...I think my MIL like does it on purpose and brings up names and then I get excited and stuff & start saying names & she states her lovely opinion on every single name! Irks my nerves! lol But I have to learn not to tell her...This time around before I m/c she kepted asking names but I wouldnt say & she did say she doesn't like Hope Smith because it's too plain jane-ish but I still love it! So, maybe the next time we fall pregnant I won't tell ANYONE! just hubby! We are keeping the next baby a surprise along with the name! It's hard tho she doubts me a lot and it hurts..like she says Oh you won't be able to keep the name a secret! You won't NOT find out the sex you can't do that you have to know! ... =( Isn't she suppose to be supportive?

Thanks! Yeah! I still love the name Vera it's beautiful & has a good meaning too! I care to much what ppl think and I need to stop & do what Dustin & I lovee! Thanks!


B/c it is so hard to come to an agreement on names with just my husband, I generally don't discuss them with any other family members either. People have such different opinions and styles. I know my style is different from most people in my family, so we just steer clear of the subject. When we have the baby, I include in the announcement the meaning behind the name that we've chosen.

I'm sorry your MIL is not supportive of your desire to keep the baby's gender and name a surprise. My MIL doesn't speak much English, so we get along great - LOL! Seriously, I had a similar experience with my brother. We were surprised for our first 3. When I told him we were expecting #3, he said to me (in a pretty hostile tone) "Well, you are definitely going to find out the sex this time, right?" For thousands of years, women didn't find out the sex of the baby until delivery so why is it suddenly so urgent now? LOL!!!

Vera is a sweet name with a pretty meaning. Vera Hope is a nice combo!




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