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What Do vs. You Do?

What do you do when you have a young daughter (19) who’s having a baby girl and she picks one of the worse names in history of names and won’t listen to anyone that tells her the name is completely horrid and that her child will hate her for giving her the horrid name?

The Top Baby Name is...

What Do


You Do?


Poll created: Dec 29, 2011
Total Votes: 0


What’s the name?
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:22 PM | report
Trinity Noelle. God it hurts to type it
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 05:22 PM | report
Yeah what’s the name? I’m curious now! I would say give her a suggestion that is similiar sounding or has the same meaning, and in the end just let her name the child!
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:22 PM | report
If you are in that situation, I think you should be as loving and supportive as you can. If she chooses that name, you should try your best to learn to love it. Hold your criticism for the sake of you relationship with your daughter and granddaughter.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:23 PM | report
Hmm...the name Noelle is not bad in itself...I would track down some alternatives to Trinity...give me a minute here I’ll see what I can come up with!
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:23 PM | report
Trinity Noelle is a terrible name. Plus, it’s her child.Not yours, she can name it what she wants.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:23 PM | report
Let it type like a younger person, yourself...just let it don’t do’s know that.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:24 PM | report
Well,I’d tell her that any child with the name would get picked on terribly and wouldn’t be taken seriously by any company. If she didn’t listen, I’d just let her name her girl that.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:25 PM | report
That’s actually not terrible. I’ve definitely heard worse. I completely agree with poster 4, btw. It is her baby, not yours. Don’t ruin this experience by imposing your judgements.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:25 PM | report
Trinity Noelle isn’t THAT bad. Maybe Noelle Trinity?
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:26 PM | report
It is not your place to do anything. If she is set on the name then you need to learn to like it or keep your mouth shut.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:28 PM | report
But it’s so beyond horrid, I just don’t get why she likes it. I’ve tried talking to her but she just doesn’t care about what anyone thinks. The middle names switch like every week but she’s very intent on Trinity as a first name which is what I really can’t stand.
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 05:29 PM | report
I have heard much worse but i agree with the poster who suggested Noelle Trinity.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:30 PM | report
Well, she just likes it! Just let her name the kid Trinity! Maybe if it kid hates it as much as you, she’ll go by her middle name. It’s not your place to tell her what she can’t name her baby.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:32 PM | report
I’ve heard a lot worse....
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:36 PM | report
You should butt out. She likes it, and isn’t going to care if you do. Obviously, she doesn’t care about lots of stuff, getting pregnant at 19. So she’s gonna name the kid Trinity.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:36 PM | report
Ok, Tristan, Tracy, Trini, and Trinnette are alternatives you could suggest to your daughter...Other than that just love her and help her through this, and be supportive no matter what!
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:37 PM | report
Some mother you are!
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:38 PM | report
You’ll learn to like it once you fall in love with your granddaughter. Come back to this site when the kid is a year old and tell us what you think of her name.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:39 PM | report
Trinity isn’t that bad. Maybe you could find a nickname to call her if you just absolutely can’t stand Trinity.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:40 PM | report
Excuse me poster 18? Was that at all called for?
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 05:41 PM | report
I doubt that poster 19. My best friend named her daughter Trinity Rose and even though I love my goddaughter, I still detest her name and she’s 8
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 05:42 PM | report
Agree with the Poster, although I think you need to be a bit more supportive of your daughter! As a woman who is pregnant and does not have the support of her mother in naming (I want to name my son D’arnaud, and it has become taboo between us) I can tell you that right now your girl just needs you to say that it’s ok, her choice is her choice and have your support through it.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:43 PM | report
I think poster 18 has a bit of a point. It seems like you aren’t being very supportive about your granddaughter. But I don’t think they should’ve posted it.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:44 PM | report
It’s completely called for!!!!! You aren’t being supportive about her child! Just let her name the kid!!!!!!!!
posted by 18 :: Dec 29, 2011 05:46 PM | report
Just call her Trina for Trinity...but really but...I have to say this poll sounds familiar-right down to the "excuse me..."
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:47 PM | report
I don’t see how me hating the name choice translate to me not being supportive about m granddaughter
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 05:48 PM | report
Poster 18, there are more polite ways to say it. Yes, it is hard to be without the support of your mother. But it doesn’t mean you can go trash-talking the same mother who doesn’t give support. Trust me, if it worked, I would’ve used it a long time ago.
posted by Sara :: Dec 29, 2011 05:48 PM | report
What is your daughter’s name?
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:48 PM | report
I think you’re being a little rude. I understand that you don’t like the name, my cousin named her baby Mackenzie and I hated it, but I let her name her baby Mackenzie. It’s her child, and I don’t want to be the Debby Downer that ruins her fun of naming her child. I think you should do the same.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:48 PM | report
Poster 18, if she names the baby Trinity then so be it but that mean I have to be happy about.
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 05:49 PM | report
Learn proper spelling, then come back and tell us what you think.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:50 PM | report
Then I guess I’ll have to quietly hate the name. My daughter’s name is Jacqueline
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 05:51 PM | report
Guys, fighting isn’t going to solve anything. I would just tell her to think of the child, and if she doesn’t listen, so be it.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:52 PM | report
I meant that *doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 05:53 PM | report
Just be supportive of your daughter, is what we are trying to say. Disliking the name does not make you any less of a mother or a grandma, but a bit of support goes a long way! As I am in your daughter\’s shoes (Kind of) I can tell you that it would mean a lot to me (And probably her!) if I got a call from my mom saying that I don\’t like your choice, but I will support you. I will be here. That honestly, would mean more than any sort of approval of the name. I think your daughter probably feels the same.
posted by Sara :: Dec 29, 2011 05:54 PM | report
I did that, but she thinks the name is pretty
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 05:55 PM | report
Then just let her think that it’s pretty, and hate it to yourself.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 05:56 PM | report
It’s much better than the poll where a mother is fighting with her daughter and son-in-law over twins name of Parallel Universe (girl) and Unicorn (boy). Regardless you will love the baby all the same no matter what name they have. She will always be your grandbaby!
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 06:02 PM | report
Support her! Even if you don’t like it!
posted by Sara :: Dec 29, 2011 06:02 PM | report
What do you do? You stand out from the crowd of people telling her it’s a horrible name and respect her right as an adult, and a mom-to-be, to make this all-important decision on her own.

Believe it or not, Trinity Noelle is not the worst name ever. Trinity was the 73rd most popular name for a baby girl born in the US in 2010, so it’s by no means unheard of, and Noelle is actually quite lovely.

As far as saying that the name is one of the worst names in history, and her child will hate her for giving her such a horrid name? Those statements are opinions, not facts, and if you say those things to your daughter, that would be rude, appalling and really hurtful... and that won’t do her, you, or the baby any good at all.

I know it’s not your style, but it is also not your decision. Do yourself, your daughter, and your granddaughter a huge favor by disengaging yourself from the conflict and being a loving, supportive mother to your daughter... she needs the option to decide for herself much more than she needs you to persuade her away from her decision to satisfy the concerns of you or other people.

Best wishes to you both!
posted by Reason :: Dec 29, 2011 06:03 PM | report
Well said Reason! Listen to the voice of Reason, Jaqueline’s Mom/ Trinity’s grandma! Be supportive, no matter what. I mean, you love your daughter, right? No matter what? So be that loving force right now. A girl that young and (I am assuming) not married needs all the love she can get!
posted by Sara :: Dec 29, 2011 06:06 PM | report
I highly doubt that Sara
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 06:11 PM | report
If you’re going to be negative to people that are giving the opinions that you asked for you might as well leave. The name isn’t horrible. You are just annoyed that you didn’t get any say in the name. Or that she’s 19, young, and is having a baby. You will learn to love the name .. besides a healthy baby is much more important. As is the LOVE she is given!
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 06:13 PM | report
Doubt what? That your little girl needs you? That she is young and scared and feeling alone, and just needs some support? Every girl, no matter how much she denies it, no matter how far she strays, wants the love and approval of her Mom. And when the removal of that love and approval comes over something as small as a disagreement over the name of a grandchild, the effects are devastating on a girl. If she has a husband to lean on, it helps. But she doesn’t, does she? You’re what she has. She needs your support right now, regardless of how you feel about the name Trinity. (Which is popular in Spain, by the way!)
posted by Sara :: Dec 29, 2011 06:14 PM | report
I have to admit that Trinity seems like a low cl[removed]ort of name...I know someone named Trinadee, even worse, and no offense to anyone, however, what would you have done if someone told you they din’t like the name Jacqueline? Would you have changed it? Trina is a nice nn. Let this go or you risk not being able to see your granddaughter.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 06:19 PM | report
I agree with poster 42. A healthy baby is much more important than loving the name. You’ll still love her, right? You may have a change of heart when you hold you’re beautiful granddaughter and realize that the name doesn’t matter when you have her.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 06:19 PM | report
You don’t understand how much I hate this name though poster 44. I mean, she could have picked just about anything else and I’d be happier. Think of the worse name you’ve even heard and multiply your hatred of that name by 100. I hate it more than that still! And no, no, no Sara. It’s already been established that she doesn’t need me or want me around for that matter. Apparently, I’m the worse parent ever and am very well hated by her and yeah the her. And her and the guy are engaged. Guess who was the last to hear that?
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 06:23 PM | report
I don’t know why I’m even wasting all of you all’s time whining about this when I’m not going to see the baby anyway
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 06:25 PM | report
Good GOD get off this site already! Quit whining and go!
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 06:28 PM | report
If my mom was fighting this hard with strangers over the name I picked for my baby, I’d probably hate her, too. You are trying to exact too much control over her on this matter, and it’s not healthy. It’s probably not an isolated incident, either.

There is an excellent book called Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. I would encourage you, and your daughter, to read it. You have far more issues in your relationship than simply what this child’s name is to be. I feel for you both.
posted by Reason :: Dec 29, 2011 06:33 PM | report
I can’t help but wonder if the Jaqueline pushes you away is because she doesn’t want to be disappointed or hurt? With all due respect, you seem a bit hard to please, and I know the feeling of having a hard to please mother. Be there for her, no matter what. BE SUPPORTIVE, is all I can say. Whether or not you agree with me, I am identifying with a lot of what I am picking up of your relationship with your daughter.
posted by Sara :: Dec 29, 2011 06:35 PM | report
Harsh poster 49, but that’s fine. I give up. She can do whatever she wants.
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 06:37 PM | report
I’m sorry if I sounded a little crazy in the beginning but whatever. She wants me to leave her alone, I will. I’m done.
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 06:39 PM | report
You didn’t sound crazy, a little controlling maybe but not crazy. She doesn’t want you to leave her’s reverse phsychology. (I majored in physchology before switching to English literature) From what I gather, both of you have very strong personalities. By trying to persuade you to leave her alone, her real desire is that you will defy her wishes and keep persuing her. It’s really complicated, and my guess is that it would be a lot easier on both of you if you could ditch the games and just talk to each other!
posted by Sara :: Dec 29, 2011 06:45 PM | report
No she’s made it abundantly clear that she wants me gone so unless avoiding my phone calls, cussing me out over everything, and not even bothering to call me when she was pregnant (or about anything else for a year) is apart of this reserve thing, she’s made it clear that she hates me and that’s fine
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 07:06 PM | report
I hate to have to be the one to say it, but might’ve she learned it from you? In this case, I’d say it’s because you’ve done things, probably unwittingly, in the past that have brought her to this point. Honestly, just be a support to her, no matter how much you dislike the choice! Hope this help!
posted by Sara :: Dec 29, 2011 07:44 PM | report
I think you and jacqueline need to try to establish a better relationship, because it breaks my heart to read how much you are pushing each other away. Maybe you can find a special nickname (my grandmother calls me Magoo, my name is Magen.) and maybe Trinity can bring you guys together. Or, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe you guys will never have a good relationship together, and frankly, if that’s what it’s come too, then maybe it’s for the best. Maybe Jaqueline isn’t going to listen and name her daughter Trinity. I think if you just ask if the two of you could try to find a name, she MIGHT let you in again, and you may be able to compromise. I hope it turns out well for the both of you, and I kind of agree with poster 44. If you have a healthy baby, her name shouldn’t matter as much.
posted by guest :: Dec 29, 2011 07:54 PM | report
Maybe I’m making such a fuss because she is my daughter and to have her completely reject me hurts but I can’t make her listen to me or care about my feelings, I mean she doesn’t even want me in the baby’s life so why care what she names her? This is stupid and I just need to move one with my life. We’ve never gotten along and probably never will so I just need to let go. I’m getting too old for this crap anyway. I wish her and everyone on here the best.
posted by Poster :: Dec 29, 2011 08:21 PM | report
You butt out.
posted by guest :: Dec 30, 2011 12:34 AM | report

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