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More kids? vs. Stick with 4 vs. Mommy needs some advice

Okay, I know this has absolutely nothing to do with baby names, but I really need some help. Currently, we have 4 girls, Lila, Evelyn, Madison and Isabelle. We started our family young, and our youngest just turned 5. Recently, my husband has been asking if we will go for number 5. He desperately wants a son (who wouldn’t with 4 daughters!). We have the space, time and money. But I am just not so sure. What would be the chance of us even having a boy? Some days I feel like I am happy with our family, and other days I am crying looking through all the girls baby pictures, because I want another litte baby. The girls have also been asking if they are getting any more siblings, or if we are done. I am just looking for some advice. Anyone out there been in my boat? All my friends say 5 is just too many. Please help. I don’t want to take away from the naming process, but if we have another, they will be certainly named here. Thanks you. -Jen

The Top Baby Name is...

More Kids?


Stick With 4


Mommy Needs Some Adv


Poll created: Feb 17, 2014
Total Votes: 2


Adopt a boy if you’re that desperate for one, there are scads of kids that need homes.
posted by guest :: 4 years ago | report
I agree. Adopting a boy means 100% you’ll get a little guy and you’ll be done at five. Also, adopting is good because, as mentioned above, there are so many kids without adequate living conditions and parents. You can save a little boy!
posted by guest :: 4 years ago | report
If you feel like you want another child, then by all means you should. I think it’s rather pretentious for anyone to tell someone they have too many kids. If that’s what you want, then it’s right for you. If it’s not for them, that’s fine too, but they shouldn’t tell you how to run your life! If you really think you want another child, go for it! Just remember that there’s still a good chance you’ll get another girl, so don’t just do it if you only really want a boy. Just do it if you want another baby.
posted by guest :: 4 years ago | report
"We have the space, time, and money." Sounds good to me!

"Some days I feel like I am happy with our family, and other days I am crying." What does your happiness mean when other days you are crying?

"All my friends say 5 is just too many." To heck with them. Whose life is this anyway?

Maybe I am biased because I come from a very big family myself, but I believe that if you have the financial/emotional resources, you should go ahead and have another child, either biological or adopted. You don’t "feel" the missing child until after they are born, but once they’re a part of your family, you’ll wonder how you ever thought you were complete without them.

Good luck, whatever you decide.
posted by guest :: 4 years ago | report
ADOPTING IS NOT AN ANSWER! If you want to have another child, then go for it. Sure you could have another girl, but after all, i don’t think the chances of five girls in a row are that high. And about my first statement, while yes their are children who need homes, if you can have a baby, then a child doesnt need to be taken away from it’s family. And if you do decide to adopt, adopt from Foster Care please, those are the kids that really need families, not the baby of the teen mother, that mother just needs support.
posted by Allie :: 4 years ago | report
*Aren’t that high,* sorry
posted by Allie :: 4 years ago | report
Five is a perfectly fine number of kids. Other people can have the number of kids that’s right for them and you have the number that’s right for you.

If you do decide to have another, make very sure you husband is going to be okay with another girl. You’ve got at least a 50/50 chance of a girl. That would be the primary sticking point in my mind.
posted by guest :: 4 years ago | report
Actually Allie, you were right the first time. Using "aren’t" would be a double negative. (Grammar-Nazi, ho!)

Anyway, if you feel you want another kid, then you should!
posted by guest :: 4 years ago | report
oh, sorry 8th poster. I was just reading it though quickly and didn’t even notice.
posted by Allie :: 4 years ago | report
5 is not too many if that is what you want. Its not their business. Also, look at the Shettles Method on the internet. I found it when I was looking to research ways to do at home gender selection. Its not a guarantee that you will get the gender you are trying for, but, it can help you make your chances much higher for a boy or girl. I believe the failure rate is around 15%. I used Shettles Method, to get my daughter, and it worked for me, so who knows, it may work for you!! If you’re in doubt, get pregnant again, or adopt, as mentioned above. If you’re that back and forth, just go for it. That tells me that you’re desiring another child, but maybe you’re trying to talk yourself out of it? Also, when I did the Shettles Method, I had to talk to myself, and make it known to myself, that even though the failure rates are really low for the method, that if I did turn out to have a third boy, I would not be upset, cause whatever gender comes, I would be just as excited as if I had gotten the gender desired. GL, and God bless.
posted by guest :: 4 years ago | report
Although they are friends, it’s none of their business deciding how many kids is too much. That’s between you and your husband and the good Lord above. No one on their deathbed has ever said, I wish I wouldn’t have had so many children...
posted by guest :: 4 years ago | report
Ha!! Love that point, poster 11!
posted by guest :: 4 years ago | report
Haha, no need to apologize, Allie. :) I make similar (and worse) mistakes ALL the time!
posted by guest :: 4 years ago | report
Oh, man! I agree with Poster 11 1,000,000%! That needs to be a bumper sticker or something!
posted by guest :: 4 years ago | report
Shettles worked once for us and didn’t work once for us. So I’m not a big believer in it. But that’s just my experience.

I’ve never understood why people have a problem with other people’s family size, as long as there’s enough money and love. I have four kids and it doesn’t bother me that my cousin has an one and isn’t planning anymore. It’s what works for each family. So if you want 5, go for it. But only if you’re okay with maybe having 5 girls because that could happen.
posted by guest :: 4 years ago | report
I think the answer is really only to be found in your heart. Do you want to go through the baby stage again? Do you want to have leisure and time to travel as a family? Do you simply WANT another little baby, regardless of the gender? Looking toward you getting older, will it be OK with you to have a kid in the house for 6 years after the other ones have moved out? What would be your motivation for having another (which is not-gender related, because every time you have a kid, the chance is 50-50)?
posted by guest :: 4 years ago | report
However, it has been discovered that the older a couple is, the more likely they are to have a girl. Y chromosomes don’t last as long as X ones do, so, sometimes it really isn’t 50/50.

Go with your heart. But, know that you may have another little princess.
posted by guest :: 4 years ago | report

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