Baby Name Poll Results

I would change their name if they were young enough that they didn’t know.

I think it depends on the extent to which this person was associated with the kid. If it’s like you mention and the mother was called "Elizabeth" (and not Liz or Ellie or something), and same with the little kid, then I think you’d need to find a nickname for the kid. But another example from a neighbour of mine: her son (in grade 1) didn’t want his sister to be named Emily because of a girl in his class who was mean to him. I don’t think that’s a good enough reason to not use the name, especially if it’s common. Especially in grade 1. But if you’ve got a teenager with a really bad experience with a name...I might consider changing the other kid’s name or giving her a nickname.
I don’t have any kind of experience with this either, though. Just my thoughts.

I think it depends on the name. If the name is common like Elizabeth then unfortunately the abused child is likely to run into, go to school with, have to work with someone with that name. So addressing those feelings and issues instead of ignoring them by changing the name is the way I would go. If it was a more uncommon name then I might change the name but I still think addressing the issues is the better approach.

I also do not have any experience in this particular scenario, but I would have to agree with the previous poster. Calling the child a variation of the name (ex. Lizzie, Eliza, Beth, etc...) as opposed to Elizabeth would allow the affected child to disassociate the baby with his/her abusive mother completely. Hope this helps, and I wish you the best of luck.

The best of both options would be to call the baby by a variation of Elizabeth, and take the affected/abused child to a child therapist so he/she could properly address the name association issue. Of course, if the abused child is older, many high schools now have a school-wide therapist or counselor that is completely free to visit... Good luck.

If she’s little, I’d change her name. If she’s older, I’d explain the situation and ask if there’s another name or nickname she’d like to use.

To respond to the pp, yeah, he/she’d run into a lot of Elizabeth’s, but it’s one thing to see someone/hear their name on occasion and to see/her it every day, multiple times a day at home, which is supposed to be the safest space. Especially if it was in the home that he/she felt unsafe.

My parents changed my name when I was 3. The reason wasn’t quite to dramatic, but I do appreciate them changing it. My birth name is my middle name, but considering who my birth parents were, I would have been happy enough not having it part of my name at all. Then again, that’s not something you’d know when a kid is 3 until they grow up.

I’d say change her name, keep Elizabeth (or whatever) as the middle name. Unless this kid is a teenager as well.

Thank you for all of the suggestions. Our son has, of course, been seeing a counsellor for 6 years, ever since he came to live with us. But no amount of talking will completely take away associations. I mean, I still don’t like the name Annika because of someone I knew when I was younger.
If we do end up in this situation, the child would not be more than 5, likely still under 3. So no teenagers. Thanks again!

I personally wouldn’t change one child’s name for another’s benefit. That seems unfair to the first child.