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Baby vs. Name vs. Remorse

I NEED HELP!!! My DH and I never found the perfect name before my DD was born. We gave her the only name we could agree on and now I am sick with sadness because I hate it. I am not sure I hate the name as much as I feel it was a forced decision. If it were anything else, house, car, ect I could live with it but being as it is my daughter’s name I am considering changing it. She is 2 months old and I have been torn up about this since I left the hospital. Can anyone please tell me if you have experienced this or what you think is the best solution? DH is on board with changing it but he also likes the name she has. One of my biggest hang up with changing it is that she has been a certain name for 9 weeks-- it is almost like erasing the first weeks of her life isn’t it? But I am so scared in 10 years I will regret not doing something about it.

The Top Baby Name is...







Poll created: Oct 09, 2008
Total Votes: 0


BTW Since she has been home we don’t call her by a "name" because this is there is so much strain surrounding this situation... she is called pet names Baby girl, sweet angel, ect.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 07:49 PM | report
Babies grow into exactly the name you give them, soon you will not see her as anything else, I suggest you keep her name and not worry about it so much, focus your time on this wonderful time in all of your lives. She will probably love her name when she gets older. Can she go by a nickname or her middle name?
posted by sal :: Oct 09, 2008 07:50 PM | report
What is her name?
posted by sal :: Oct 09, 2008 07:50 PM | report
If you truly feel that this name will not work for her, change it. But think about the consequences. You might regret changing it later. If your husband agrees on it, then it should be no problem. But compromise is always good. Maybe you can change just one of her names so everyone is pleased. Is it the combination that you don’t like or just one name?
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 07:51 PM | report
Namer’s Remorse ;[

As sal suggested, call her by her middle name!! She probably doesnt know her name yet, so you could still leagally change it. GL with your daughter, if you keep her name she’ll grow into it and her name will seem as beautiful as she is :] ... what is her name??
posted by xx mandii :: Oct 09, 2008 07:52 PM | report
I think there is always something behind the name you choose. I think if it’s something like "Ryleigh" than I would change but seriously it’s her name don’t change it.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 07:52 PM | report
What is her name? Maybe we can help you. She is your daughter, so you can change it if you like. You are the one who has to live with it and it will always bother you if you do not deal with it now
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 07:52 PM | report
In a few months, if you start calling her by name, you wont be able to imagine her with another name.
posted by sal :: Oct 09, 2008 07:53 PM | report
Poster, whats her name !!!!!!!!!! I’m so curious :]
posted by xx mandii :: Oct 09, 2008 07:53 PM | report
Maybe you really should change her name if it is bothering that much, better to change it while she is so little. Hopefully you will feel better about it then. GL! Oh, what is her name?
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 07:54 PM | report
posterrrr !! name please :0
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 07:55 PM | report
Go ahead and change it if you feel so strongly about it. She is your daughter and only 2 months. Babies don’t respond to their name until about 5/6 months. Since you haven’t called her by her "real" name, it doesn’t make a difference, anyway. People and children in particular, adapt very well. If children can learn to respond to a nickname and (not necessarily adults) new last names, they can adapt to new first names.

Change it to something you love and then you won’t regret it. Perhaps make her first name into her middle name, just to give her old name some value so it doesn’t "erase" her first 9 weeks.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 07:56 PM | report
You could actually change it because she’s only nine weeks old and I think it’s worth ’erasing’ nine weeks of her life rather than regreting 89 years of it (if she lives that long:P) Anyway, tell us her name. Maybe we can convince you it’s a great name!! PLEASE TELL US!!
posted by oo gabby xx :: Oct 09, 2008 07:56 PM | report
Wat does DD and DH stand 4??
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 07:57 PM | report
posted by xx mandii :: Oct 09, 2008 07:57 PM | report
DD is darling daughter and DH is darling husband
posted by xx mandii :: Oct 09, 2008 07:58 PM | report
I felt the same way when I had my son...It was a compromise with his father and from the moment he was born I didn’t think it was right for him....even know I don’t think his name sounds like him but I chose not to change it bc it was his name....I don’t regret not changing it and everyone always loves it but next time I’m not backing down on a name I like!!!! I say change it if you want but it may grow on you.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 07:58 PM | report
DH - dear husband

I don’t know what DD means. What is her name?
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 07:59 PM | report
Her name is Chloe Elizabeth. Elizabeth is a family name that I don’t love for a first name and Chloe seems so harsh and trendy. I also think it will not age well but it is all we had at the time and we had to make a decision. I don’t Chloe lends itself to a nickname and all the Elizabeth nn are overused. My DH and I are VERY different when it comes to names... I like the soft and feminine and IMO he likes the outdated and dull. Thank you for all of your help.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 07:59 PM | report
It’s a little hard to help when you won’t list the name.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:00 PM | report
DD is dear/darling daughter. and I need to know her name because it is going to bug me if i dont. so tell please !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by xx mandii :: Oct 09, 2008 08:00 PM | report
BTW Elizabeth is carved in stone per DH.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:00 PM | report
Oh my goodness, I adore the name Ghloe and know lots of Chloes and I love their name and Chloe Elizabeth sounds DARLING!! I was expecting like a Bertha or something but thats really pretty!! I really don’t think Chloe is harsh or trendy...Khloe is. Anyway, I’ll keep checking on the poll and make a few suggestions for names...GL!!
posted by oo gabby xx :: Oct 09, 2008 08:02 PM | report
Perhaps do a variant of Elizabeth?
Do you like any?

What first names do you like?

I completely agree with you on EVERY point you made about your daughter’s name.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:03 PM | report
Have you considered that it may be your hormones or just questioning rather you did the best you could? I don’t mean to be rude in any way. I just know that some women get depressed and have hormone issues after childbirth. I know how hard it is to come up with "the" name, but as long it is not made up and totally asking for teasing, I think you should let it go because you liked it at one time so it must not be that bad. Good luck with whatever you do. If you need help picking a new name, let us know. OR, tell us the name so we can find a way to incorporate it into something better!
posted by march :: Oct 09, 2008 08:03 PM | report
okay i have been where you are. 1/2 of it is post postpartum depression. the other 1/2 is waiting last minute and not feeling like it is her name bc you didn’t have a name the whole time she was in your belly. so you didn’t call her that for 9 months. my dd is 16 months and yes i dislike her name still, i worry about mostly when i am alone and not keeping myself busy. but everyone else likes her name, i just feel like it was so last minute that it will never feel right to me. I do not know what else to tell you, i mean you can change it, but it will be confusing and expensive, and what if when she is 15 she likes her old name better? GL*
btw what is it? is there a nn you can use that you like better?
posted by lynz :: Oct 09, 2008 08:04 PM | report
i like Chloe Elizabeth
or you could call her Beth or Lizzy (cute*)
posted by lynz :: Oct 09, 2008 08:07 PM | report
I don’t like Chloe. I can’t imagine it on a human anymore. I like Elizabeth and all variants and nicknames.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:08 PM | report
Ok I see you just gave the name! I think it is absolutely fine! Chloe is quite popular right now, but it is nothing to be so regretful about. I don’t think there are any nicknames for Chloe, and if you don’t like any nicknames for Elizabeth, you may have to change the first name. Let us know if you want suggestions, but if you just need reassurance, the name is nice.
posted by march :: Oct 09, 2008 08:08 PM | report
Yes I have considered it may be hormonal but I am not to my knowledge having those types of problems. And I have also considered that I may not be happy with anything which would be horrible to change it and then realize I don’t like the new name either or I shouldn’t have changed it. I have mulled all of that over for 2 months and I am still here so I am thinking none of that applies-- I hope.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:08 PM | report
lynz, what is your daughters name? Just curious.......
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:08 PM | report
What do you guys think about Melanie, Katherine or Madelyn?
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:09 PM | report
Madeleine Elizabeth would be pretty.
Madeleine Eliza
Madeleine Bethany
Madeleine Eloise
Madeleine Elise
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:11 PM | report
Chloe Elizabeth is adorable!!! i wouldnt change it!!!
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:11 PM | report
Melanie - pretty but I don’t see it aging well, I prefer Melissa
Katherine - I love it, this is what I am naming my daughter
Madelyn - trendy spelling of a beautiful name
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:12 PM | report
Well, you really should get past it one way or the other so you can focus on enjoying that beautiful baby! It doesn’t matter if others like it either. It is a perfectly human and normal name. Like one poster said, what if she woud’ve liked Chloe better later on?
posted by march :: Oct 09, 2008 08:12 PM | report
I can’t imagine Chloe on an adult.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:13 PM | report
Chloe is GORGEOUS!!!!! I think changing her name now would be a moot point, especially if you decide later on that you should never had changed it. I think it should stay, because you love your daughter no matter what her name is. I think it is a gorgeous name, will age well, and is nothing to worry about. Good luck...
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:14 PM | report
Claire Elizabeth is a nice alternative.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:14 PM | report
Chloe Elizabeth is gorgeous! There is nothing wrong with it even if it doesn’t feel like "the" name. A lot of people probably question their choice sometime or other. My daughter Ava is 2 1/2, although I love her name I didn’t know it was/would be so popular and kind of wish I’d stuck to Eva. But I think Ava works better so it’s ok. Have you thought of nn Eliza? It’s a pretty nn for Elizabeth if you need a break from Chloe.

And if this is from the same pollster as Chloe v. Catharine v. Melanie, stick with Chloe. Catharine and Melanie are fine but not so much better that they are worth changing too. There are tons of Catharines, Cates, Cathys, Melanies, etc., probably more than Chloes b/c they have been popular longer. They are also dated- from the 1980’s! Do a poll on nn to see if you can find one you like better in the meantime! -Melanie
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:18 PM | report
My dd is Lillian, which is very trendy now, i didn’t know at the time, and did not know Lily was a name on Hannah Montana.... Dh wanted to name it if a girl *we didnt know the sex* Amethyst Lily or Lily Violet which I said was way to much purple. and swore he was joking with me.... I also felt like Lily wasnt a name i liked but Lillian was okay if that was what he chose. But i hate the nn Lily now.
posted by lynz :: Oct 09, 2008 08:18 PM | report
Thank you Melanie!
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:20 PM | report
Chloe is cute Elizabeth is classic. keep it
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:21 PM | report
I think it is HORRIBLE for anyone to rip on the name Chloe Elizabeth when it is already her name! You people are RUDE! Be supportive. If the poll creator feels better changing it, fine, support her, but don’t make her think that she made a mistake when she had her sweet daughter 9 weeks ago! There is no name in the ENTIRE world that everyone would agree on. This is up to the mother, don’t try to make her feel worse.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:22 PM | report
Oh it is okay. I can take it. Thank you though. You are very sweet to consider my feelings. I want people to be honest even if it isn’t good honest.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:26 PM | report
I do not think anyone is ripping her name, most agree it is a fine name, however this is a poll and everyone has an opinion and should be allowed to. As for names, It is very hard to find a perfect name, but some husbands make it extra hard on their wives. Being forced into a name is not fair when that baby will have to live with it and the mother who carried the child. All said and done, I still like her name and after all I went through to find a name, trying to not use the most popular name, I think her name is a great name.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:29 PM | report
Let me ask you guys this... what does Chloe make you think of? Doesn’t it sound harsh? I want so bad for my little angel to have a name that ages with her so when people see her when she is young they think she is adorable and her name fits her, when she is a teenager it is "cool" and when she is a grown woman it is respectable and classy but still feminine.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:30 PM | report
So do you feel atleast a little bit better or worse?
posted by march :: Oct 09, 2008 08:31 PM | report
I’ve had a lot of stress/anxiety with this pregnancy (my 4th) and have had friends tell me they had it afterwards. It kind of sounds similar to how you are feeling. I haven’t heard any names listed here that are really any better than Chloe, or worth the effort. Especially if you have a 3 syllable last name, you probably want to stick with a shorter name because a long name with Elizabeth long last name would be a lot! But do what you and your husband feel is best! great grandpa changed my grandma and her brother’s names at the last minute when he was blessing them into our church. My grandmother was supposed to be Caroline but ended up Marjorie which she hates! My great grandmother changed her youngest’s name back to what it was supposed to be when he was 8. They would have been better had my ggrandpa stuck to the first names they had! GL
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:33 PM | report
It isn’t fair... after this I am to the point where part of me wants to change it because I feel like I was bullied. I am trying to keep that out of the equation because it is immature but it is still deep in my soul. :-( But they say "whatever you want" but "oh I don’t like that." Even now I am fighting him but "it is your choice." REALLY? Is it? Sorry... don’t mean to vent. :-(
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:35 PM | report
I do feel a little better March. I just wish I had better choices. I wish I liked Chloe like I did when I first heard it. Now I just think it is trendy and cutesy but not cute or feminine.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:40 PM | report
My baby girl is due in 2 1/2 weeks. Chloe is a name that I’ve brought up several times to dh, but he prefers Vesper (pronounced with an English accent as Vespa)! The point being 1. that I genuinely like Chloe and think it will age fine, 2. I’ve been stressed out over the name thing too! 3. DH’s choice could be worse- Vesper or my friend’s husband’s choice Jubal (she is hoping it will be a girl!).

It sounds like he is supportive though if you decide to change it, I’m glad of that! -Melanie
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:40 PM | report
Are there any nn for Elizabeth you like? Do you like Cece? (see-see, as in C E for Chloe Elizabeth?) There is a 3rd grader in my daughter’s class named Cecilia who goes by Cece. Anything that you like and feel you have more of a choice in?
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:45 PM | report
Make a new start with it, and see if you can come up with a name you really like better. It will probably be hard. Don’t let anyone tell you not to use a name that is too popular. Use one that you really like. Try using the name,before you discuss it with dh and then see if your husband will agree. I am sure he wants you to be happy. It does not matter what anyone else thinks about you changing her name. If you are happy and your husband, that is all that matters. And if you decide to stick with Chloe Elizabeth, then you can be happy with it.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:46 PM | report
Melanie- If I may give you advice... find a couple of names you truly love on your on (which I know is VERY VERY hard) and then present them to your husband. Then don’t back down... if you have a favorite make sure he knows that. Not that it would happen but I would hate for you to be me in 3 weeks. I have cried and have analyzed this situation over and over until I am sick. Make sure you love it! Girl names are so hard. At least I think they are. :-(
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:49 PM | report
I imagine Chloe as a super cute little girl with adorable pigtails. As a pretty teenager (it may be popular, but it sure isn’t nerdy or crazy hard to pull off!) She could be a cheerleader, an A+ student, an artist, skater-girl may be possible even. As an adult I don’t think it sounds little girly, I think it sounds classy and definitely feminine. I know that everyone has a different opinion though, this is just what I think of. If she prefers, she could go by Elizabeth when she is older too. GL
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:50 PM | report
Thank you... that is great advice. That is what I have tried to do but he still elminates my favorite. I ever had a that I was second guessing due to popularity (Hannah). I feel like Chloe is not right but I am not sure I have come up with something better. What does that mean? Is there no name for my daughter? I can name her Beautiful Angel and be done with it. I am sure the SSA would get a kick out of that.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:52 PM | report
Will she HAVE to go by Elizabeth as an adult??
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:53 PM | report
That is alot of the problem with the naming process, Because of popularity, I think that causes us to choose another name and not be happy with it. Sounds like that is what you did. Hannah Elizabeth would be a great name too, and if that is what you like, stand up to him and use it. That will make you happy and him in the long run, even if he has a hard time with it in the beginning. Good Luck, and I bet she is a beautiful angel.......
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:58 PM | report
A lot of the names I like are sadly at the top of the name lists...
Alexis nn Alex
Isabella nn Bella
Madison nn Maddy
Madaleine nn Maddy
Madalyn nn Maddy
Catherine nn Cate
Melanie nn Lanie

All but 3 were a no go.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 08:59 PM | report
Oh I forgot Gabriella nn Ella.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:03 PM | report
Thank you! I’ve told my husband that I’m ok going in to the hospital without a name set in stone, but definitely want to have a couple of choices that I really like. My biggest stress has been opinions from my family. If they don’t like our name choices fine, but they’ve been surprisingly opinionated about what is OUR choice. I think they’d like me to send out a ballot or something. So I definitely understand the stress of naming!

I hope you feel good about whatever choice you make. I don’t think any of the names you’ve mentioned are bad. Do what you and dh both feel good about. I think that if you are not certain about changing the name, then you should hold off and see how you feel in another month or couple of months. Find something you enjoy calling her in the meantime (maybe even a name you’re thinking of changing it to to see how you feel about it). If you end up changing it in a few months, no big deal to her, she’ll still be too young to know. Just don’t rush into anything or you may continue to stress about whether or not you’ve done the right thing no matter what her name is! And whatever it is, if she doesn’t like it when she grows up, don’t feel bad about your choice b/c many of us would probably change our name if we could! Everyone has different styles and times change. -Melanie
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:05 PM | report
I like Catherine Isabella, Isabella=Elizabeth, you could call her Ella .........
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:09 PM | report
It sounds like your well meaning family needs to BUTT OUT! ;-) Do what you love!

I am so excited for all of you that are due soon! I would love to be able to enjoy my birth again. My DD is my last baby. :-(
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:10 PM | report
That is beautiful but he isn’t going to let me change Elizabeth. :-( I wish I would have tried to sell the fact they are equivalent names before he did it. Now it is done and I am stuck with Elizabeth. That he has made very very clear. I guess it could be worse. Didn’t someone mention Bertha. Catherine Bertha. YIKES!!!
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:14 PM | report
Chloe is more of a dog name, to me. Go with Juliana Madeleine Elizabeth.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:22 PM | report
2 middle names?
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:24 PM | report
Hannah is a pretty name too. Popular names are popular b/c people like them. Much better to be one of 6 Emma’s, Olivia’s, Hannah’s, Ava’s, Chloe’s, etc. than one super offbeat or crazy name that will get teased or worse. Like Bertha. Elizabeth is a pretty name, and as a mn probably won’t even be used unless you choose to use it. The level of popularity, or not popularity, shouldn’t matter unless it matters to you.

I like the idea of trying out a name on her before committing to changing it. Maybe you’ll decide Chloe is better after all! And if not then you can make the decision feeling good about it. You can use it when no one else is around if you want.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:28 PM | report
Make sure YOU feel good about whatever name before changing it (or not changing it). Don’t do it based on what other people say or you’ll probably just end up feeling the same way-pressured into it.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:31 PM | report
How do I know if Chloe is trendy and when she is 30 it will just be another name that is lifeless because it is not used anymore?
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:32 PM | report
This makes a good argument for classic name, I think. Catherine Elizabeth
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:37 PM | report
Naming is really like a guessing game sometimes. But I wouldn’t worry about Chloe any more than the majority of names. It certainly isn’t crazy. When you first started this poll, we all thought it was going to be some crazy name. A name like Peaches would probably be regretted. Chloe certainly shouldn’t be. Trying to raise her to have self esteem and do her best in her life will have more effect on her than what her name is (again assuming it is not Peaches!). Besides, Chloe is pretty!
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:41 PM | report
If everyone named their daughter a "classic name" like Catherine Elizabeth, then the arguement would be changed to being that Catherine Elizabeth is way too popular! Which it probably already is...
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:44 PM | report
Not really, In all the time I taught school, I only had one Catherine and one Elizabeth who went by their real name.....and they stood out among all the others....
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:49 PM | report
This is one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. This has helped though-- for sure. Thank you guys so much. Why is naming our babies so hard?? I didn’t have this trouble with my son. I found out he was a a boy and he had a name within a couple of days that stuck. And it is perfect for him. ~Christina
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 09:51 PM | report
Just to let you know, I have just been through this with a very close friend, so that is why I was so interested. Everything was so close, I thought it was her typing this poll. So do not feel alone in it all. There are others out there in your situation. Enjoy every moment with the sweet baby, as you know, it goes by so fast. Good luck and God Bless You and your family.
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 10:01 PM | report
Thank you! It does go by so quickly. I would hate for her to feel my stress. She is so perfect-- they are all so beautiful and perfect!
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 10:09 PM | report
Thank you all for all of your help! I am not sure I am in a better place on my decision but I have a more rounded view of my choices. I am grateful for the help you have all given me. I wish you the best with your namnig and your beautiful children! God Bless! ~Christina
posted by guest :: Oct 09, 2008 10:30 PM | report
Chloe is a very beautiful name.
understand that she is your baby girl and no matter what you name her or call her she is a part of you and she loves you.
be smart and take care of yourself.
posted by BETh :: Oct 10, 2008 05:54 AM | report
Thank you Beth!!!
posted by guest :: Oct 10, 2008 12:00 PM | report

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