Baby Name Poll Results
To Change Astrid Beatrice-Daisy vs. Yes vs. No
I am a single mother of three. Sebastian Michael, Gabriel Casper and Astrid Beatrice-Daisy are my children’s names. Astrid has a hyphenated middle name as my exhusbands family had a tradition of giving their daughters a hyphenated middle name. However, now my exhusband is no longer a part of Astrid’s life, I feel like the middle name is a tie to him that I would rather she not have. While I like Astrid’s name in full, Astrid Beatrice-Daisy, it feels like a connection to him. If I did change the middle name, she would be Astrid Beatrice because whilst I like Daisy, it was my exhusbands choice. My exhusband has four daughters (he was married twice before) named Bridget Ava-Lucy, Chloe Aurora-Megan, Lila Grace-Elsie and India Alice-Rose. Bridget, Chloe and Lila are sisters whilst India is the product of my exhusbands short-lived second marriage. So, for me to let Astrid keep that middle name feels like an unwanted tie to my exhusband, her halfsisters and the idea that my exhusband has a scattering of children across the country that he refuses to keep in touch with and care for, several beautiful little girls and his two handsome sons who all want their daddy to come home and will never get that.
The Top Baby Name is...
To Change Astrid Beatrice-Dais
Yes
No
Poll created: Jul 23, 2016
Total Votes: 9
Comments
it isn’t about you and what you want, it is about her. And she may feel, whether it is true or not, that you alienated her from her dad.
posted by
guest
:: 7 years ago |
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I agree, with Comment 1, it seems right now as more of a reminder to you than to your daughter. If you truly think that later on her life it will be a source of painful memories and an unwanted association, offer it as a gift to her to legally remove the hyphenated middle name and her connection to him when she is old enough to make an informed decision for herself.
posted by
Leigh
:: 7 years ago |
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There is a lot I in your statement and not a lot about Astrid’s feelings. No matter how justified your feelings to your ex-husband he will always be her dad. Set a better example than he is.
posted by
guest
:: 7 years ago |
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Is your daughter old enough to have an opinion on her name?
While this is a big decision, and perhaps your daughter should be part of it, as it is her name, I completely understand the sentiment. As someone who happens to have a father just like that, I would not have minded cutting the ties to him in my name in my case, a surname instead of middle name. And now that I actually got rid of it, it is much easier for everyone.
If your daughter is still an infant, I do think it’s ok. If she’s an older child, it might be confusing for her, and you might want to wait until she’s older and can make that choice.
Either way, the ties to her father are not just in her name, but in her blood. You changing her name could not ’alienate her from her dad’, only the father himself, leaving his children, can do that.
Best of luck to you!
While this is a big decision, and perhaps your daughter should be part of it, as it is her name, I completely understand the sentiment. As someone who happens to have a father just like that, I would not have minded cutting the ties to him in my name in my case, a surname instead of middle name. And now that I actually got rid of it, it is much easier for everyone.
If your daughter is still an infant, I do think it’s ok. If she’s an older child, it might be confusing for her, and you might want to wait until she’s older and can make that choice.
Either way, the ties to her father are not just in her name, but in her blood. You changing her name could not ’alienate her from her dad’, only the father himself, leaving his children, can do that.
Best of luck to you!
posted by
guest
:: 7 years ago |
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I’d only change it if your daughter really really really wanted to change it and she was fully able to understand changing it. I think it would be wrong for you to randomly change it because it is her name and you wouldn’t like it if somebody changed your name without your input. Also, regardless of how bad her dad is, he is still her dad and thus by changing your name you are trying to cut ties with him, his family and your daughter’s halfsisters, which could really hurt her. Maybe she might still want to have something to do with her dad/half sisters/paternal family?
posted by
guest
:: 7 years ago |
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Astrid is 7. We do not live very close to her half sisters but all the kids exchange letters about their days, postcards when they go on holiday, little gifts now and then, photos and drawings. They get to meet up 6 or 7 times throughout the year and love doing this. Bridget, Chloe, Lila and India enjoy having their little sister Astrid and their brothers Sebastian and Gabriel around. I feel that if I change her name now, it would be best to do it now rather than waiting until it has become part of her identity. She understands my thoughts and process behind it but has said that she likes her name, she likes being Astrid Beatrice-Daisy.
posted by
guest
:: 7 years ago |
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If she likes being Astrid Beatrice-Daisy, don’t change it. You say you don’t want to wait until it becomes part of her identity but clearly it is part of her identity now if she wants to keep it. Also, you said the double barrel is an unwanted tie to her half sisters but then you went on to say that they send letters, gifts and meet up, so why would it be an unwanted tie if she clearly gets on with her half sisters? Don’t change it, I think it would be cruel to and I feel that maybe you’re putting your feelings about your ex before Astrid’s feelings.
posted by
guest
:: 7 years ago |
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