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Tell him he isn\’t the dad vs. Continue to deal with him vs. What would you do?

Decided I don’t want my unborn baby’s dad to be a part of his life. I told him about the pregnancy 3 months ago and he has had zero part in it. Well he did want to help with the name but he was mostly negative. He even got mad when I mentioned child support. I am thinking about telling him he isn’t the dad just so I don’t have to deal with him. He hasn’t told anyone about my pregnancy...he has no contact with his family and he is a very secretive person. He lives alone and doesn’t really that people into his little self-centered world. I know my son will wonder who his father is one day but maybe I will find another man who will be a better dad. What do you think I should do?

The Top Baby Name is...

Tell Him He Isn\&rsq


Continue To Deal Wit


What Would You Do?


Poll created: Mar 15, 2008
Total Votes: 3


Don’t tell him the child isn’t his if he is. No matter what your reasoning is or what way you try to look at it, the bottom line is, that’s wrong. I’m sure you know that, and I’m not trying to sound preachy or judgy or condesending. I’m only replying out of concern, and if you really want an unbiased opinion, I’m telling you not to tell that major lie. Coming from someone who grew up with a [removed] father, this is the best advice you can get. I’m not saying you should let him be a big part of the boy’s life, because we both know how much damage that could be, but if you have any concience, and I’m sure you do, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you’re the only one who really knows the truth. As far as finding a better dad, I hope you do and wish you all the luck in the world. This day and time, the label "stepdad" isn’t such a horrible thing. My stepdad is the best dad I could have hoped for. Even with that being said, I thank God every day I know who my real dad is and he knows I am his child, no matter how worthless he is. I honestly hope I have helped you, and good luck.
posted by Deanna :: 10 years ago | report
You should NOT make up any kind of lies -- that will only bite you and your kid in the a$z.
posted by guest :: 10 years ago | report
Don’t lie but loose contact asap. be honest with your boy, tell him you made a mistake and who his dad is & never ask for maintanence, ever. struggle on your own if you have too. he sounds like he would be more than happy to fade away. you will meet somebody nice if you are patient enough not to settle for someone like the father again. HONESTY IS THE VERY BEST POLICY. no one will blame you and you will always be able to sleep at night. your in my prayers tonight, good luck!!!
posted by guest :: 10 years ago | report
Get him out of your lives. Speaking from experience, you will meet somebody beyond your expectations because when you have a child your standards get higher for them than they are often for yourself. There are beautiful men out there, don’t be disappointed if you don’t meet him straight away, just let the losers move on and have faith that you and your boy are worth true love. GL!!!
posted by guest :: 10 years ago | report
I don’t think you’ll even have to lie, just cut off contact. Same thing happened with me and when my little girl was one and a half we found her true daddy, a wonderful man who loves her more than the donor ever could!
posted by guest :: 10 years ago | report
Thanks for all of your great advice. I really appreciate all of you taking the time to respond in a non-biased manner.
posted by poll maker :: 10 years ago | report

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