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Wdyt vs. Family vs. Feud

So we come from greek decent where traditions are very important. We are expecting a second boy (first was name after my husbands father) so it’s now my turn to name this child after my father. Problem is my husband hates his name. The greek name is Haralambos which translates to Harry or Bobby. My husband wants to switch it up and call him Charlie. The problem is that my family is freaking that were not gonna call him Bobby and say its so disrespectful and he got to name our first son. He thinks everyone should butt out. Im at the point where I don’t even know which name I like anymore and I don’t know what to do! Im getting this awful guilt trip from my family and its causing lots of stress. Help!!

The Top Baby Name is...

Wdyt

0%

Family

0%

Feud

0%

Poll created: Mar 01, 2013
Total Votes: 0
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Comments

First of all, this is your child. Your family doesn’t need to be a part of naming him.
You both should pick a name that you both like.
If he doesn’t like it, then don’t use it. If you don’t like it, don’t use it.
Try to compromise and don’t involve your family. It causes you stress and it’s none of their business.
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
The child’s name is between you and your husband. Your family should understand that. Your husband’s happiness in his own child’s name is more important than what your family thinks.
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
Yes, it’s your baby and you should name it what you like, but they’re your family (and your husband’s!) and their opinion is important.
If your husband doesn’t like the nickname-quality of Bobby, you could name him Robert and call him Bobby. Would that still go with tradition? Otherwise, Harry is a perfectly fine name.
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
Wow. I’m surprised so many people say screw the family’s opinion! I value my family’s opinion so much and would never do something I know they’d think was a bad choice. One of my colleagues named her son Crew, much to the dislike of her husband’s family, who is French(and just about everyone else too) and she always complains that her husband’s side of the family never uses her sons name, just "little man" and "sonny". I know your problem isn’t the same kind (your names are normal), but family opinions matter! Which name does your husband hate more? Go for the other one!
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
Charles Robert
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
I think that if you agreed that you would name the first son after his dad and the second son after yours then he should keep his word.
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
Maybe name him Haralambos Charles and call him Charlie around the house? That way your family will be able to call him Harry/Bobby as they please without sacrificing what your husband wants.
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
Maybe use your dad’s initials... I do agree that if you and your husband made some sort of deal about the name he should honor that.
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
I like the pp’s suggestion of Haralambos Charles. I do know a family that named their daughter Katherine Brooke and the dad calls her Katie and the mother calls her Brooke and she thinks this is totally normal (she’s 17). Most of her friends call her Kat or Katie because it’s her first name, but her mom still gets to call her by the name she likes.
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
I dont mind the 2 name thing (greek name) and middle name but will the child get confused?? And then what do I put on a birth certificate? Or on an invite or card?? Ugh..
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
This is the poster who knows Katherine Brooke. She said her parents have always called her by different names, just like some kids are called "pumpkin" by their dad and by their real name by their mom. So I don’t think it’s confusing for her. In her case, the birth certificate says Katherine Brooke (and I’d suggest to Haralambos Charles on your son’s) and when it comes to invites, when he’s older you put whatever name people call him (he goes by Bobby at school, put Bobby). For a baby welcoming or whatever, put hus full name as it appears on his birth certificate. That’s what we’ve always done.
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
Your family should be involved, but not that involved. They should be more supportive and not try to turn against your husband.
You should pick a name that you and your husband both like.
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
While I love the idea of the 2 names and I feel like its a compromise for both sides, I know for sure DH will be livid with that bc it’s so ethnic as a first name. Plus def not Bobby bc of his own personal reasons..he only wants Charlie. I also know it’ll become uncomfortable for everyone to call my son by either name when around eachother. Amazing how such a joyous event can be ruined by nonsense!
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
Does your husband just hate Haralambos, or Harry and Bobby too? Because if it’s the full name he hates, he can just call him Bobby and the full name will be there for tradition purposes.
I think if your husband made an agreement that the first boy would be after his father and the second boy after yours, he should honour it. It’s not like he only just found out what your father’s name is. He already knew that when your first son was born and you chose his father’s name.
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
What’s wrong with an ethnic name? Your son will be Greek, after all. I’ve got a "weird ethnic name" and yeah, I sometimes go by an "English name" at work or with other people, but I like having a different name. It’s not like people will have to stumble over his name, since he’ll be called Harry/Bobby/Charlie or whatever...
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
He’s fine with the greek name for just that..in greek settings and baptismal name. But for everyday he dislikes bobby and Harry and is stuck on Charlie. Which is growing on me other than my family thinks I should call him bobby only. I don’t mind ethnic names..his concern is what will the kids say in school plus our other son was given the English version of his greek name. My family says to name him Haralambos and just nn him Bobby, whereas DH says his name should be Charlie and we can call him Haralambos in greek settings.
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
I’d name him Charles Bobby, let Dad call him Charlie and your family call him Bobby. I agree with the previous poster. Kids can get used to multiple nicknames.
posted by Misty :: 12 years ago | report
I don’t think it’s fair for your family to dictate what you should call the child around the house if you’re willing to pass down your father’s name as the first name. If you want to call him Charlie, your family shouldn’t stop you, especially if you’ve shown that you want Haralambos to be used in Greek settings.
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report
The Greek community can get very upset about this. I was raised in a very strict Greek family, but did not follow the tradition of naming after the grandfather. My husband’s best friend is named John and has 3 cousins named John as they were all named after their grandfather, as they were the first born in each family. I didn’t want this for my children, but especially the older members of the family can get pretty nasty about it. I think in this situation, and i have seen it happen before, even if you name him Haralambos and use Charlie as a nn, your family will go out of their way to call him Harry or Bobby, which will annoy your husband. Then you try to pacify everyone and ultimately, no-one is happy.
posted by guest :: 12 years ago | report

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