Baby Name Poll Results

Honestly I feel it would be a bit odd to have a family member "help" you have a child. My husband and I struggled to conceive our last child and my sister kept trying to basically force us into letting her "help" and carry our child for us, we ended up using ZIFT instead, which is zygote intrafallopiam transfer and got pregnant with twins very soon. There are tons of fertility treatments out there. Look into those before you decide to let a family member help you. Just talk to your doctor first, don’t rush into letting his cousin "help" or whatever he means by that.

Zygote intrafallopian transfer not intrafallopiam. ^

I’m gonna do whatever we have to do to. But yes I find it very odd myself. My feeling about it was even if we never had a child together I could live with that. I find quite disturbing honestly.

In what way would the cousin be helping exactly?

I would find it nerve-wracking because what if the cousin eventually decides he wants to be more involved because he is the "father?" When you do it anonymously, there’s no chance of that, but the cousin would know and he would see the child grow up right in front of him knowing. I would definitely worry that he’d see himself as the true dad instead of your husband...and then there could be internal power struggles like you and your husband could be made to feel that you "owe" his cousin. Would your entire extended families know? There are just all of these feelings that would be tied up in this and it could go wrong. I also don’t think your husband should have discussed it with his cousin before asking your opinion first.

I think this is kinda jumping the gun though. Your husband hasn’t even seen a doctor yet himself. Do that first and exhaust all possible medical options. Even then, I would say it would be better to use an anonymous donor, personally. Good luck :)

My advice would be to not think that far ahead yet. Both of you still need to see a doctor to see what’s going on. That’s a nice offer from his cousin but you guys haven’t even ruled what is causing you guys to not get pregnant. It could be you it could be him or it could be the both of you. You just never know until you get checkout. Also how long have you guys been trying?

Get your husband to take zinc and magnesium as that is often lacking and why men can be infertile. Go to a fertility clinic and get him checked out and if necessary choose an anonymous donor. Your husband’s cousin is being a bit creepy if you ask me.

We dealt with a similar situation. All our children are donor babies (sperm). My brother-in-law offered, we accepted and did a few inseminations, but they didn’t work. We also had a dear friend who also donated. Later, we learned I had hostile cervical mucous, so we had to do intrauterine inseminations. At that point we went with donor sperm and a clinic that did the procedure. It worked once. Our other children were conceived through IVF.